No beta key? No problem!

As the lovely folks over at ArenaNet are awesome, they’ve been giving various fansites beta keys for the final BWE that’s happening July 20-22. And we’ve got 25 of them to give away here at Under the Pale Tree!

So, here we go. How do you enter, you may be asking? Well, it’s quite simple. All you have to do is come up with a punchline to one of the following joke setups! As you can see, there’s a bit of a theme here ;)

  1. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…
  2. What did the sylvari say to the charr?
  3. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

Now, the nitty gritty. To actually enter, send an email to verene@thepaletree.net, with the subject line “BWE3 Key Contest”. Please include three things: 1. The joke you’re answering, 2. Your actual punchline (obviously!), and 3. Your online alias you’d like to go by. One entry per person, obviously – this means you can only come up with a punchline for one joke! All entries must be in by 8pm CDT (9pm EDT, 6pm PDT) on Sunday, July 15th. Keys will be distributed to our favorites by Monday afternoon, and our favorite punchlines will be published on the blog. The keys are only good for BWE3, and not for any other stress tests that may happen after that point.

Also, be fair and please don’t enter if you’ve already got your beta place. Let everyone get a chance at playing next weekend!

Good luck, and have fun!

EDIT: IF YOU ARE COMMENTING ON THIS POST, YOUR ENTRY DOES NOT COUNT. ALL ENTRIES NEED TO BE EMAILED TO ME TO ACTUALLY COUNT. Please, if you are going to enter a contest, take the time to actually read and follow the rules.

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108 thoughts on “No beta key? No problem!

  1. 3. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?
    The norn passes out drunk off his 25th shot, while the sylvari relaxes and enjoys a bottle of wine.

  2. Sylvary and Charr are Talking…

    Sylvary: Hi How are you?
    Charr: *Mounz*

    xD

    ____________________________

    Second:

    How do you recognize that a person was in a bar?

    Everywhere is Cat Food.

  3. 3. The Sylvari dies. A sylvari does not possess the organs to process alcohol the way that mammals do and therefore saturates itself with it, replacing water with alcohol and killing the plant.

  4. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

    The sylvari says “You sure you want to do this? They dont call me Sylvari Sheen for nothing.”

  5. What did the sylvari say to the charr?
    Nothing the sylvari was burned to ashes.. I guess you can say he got charred! :D

  6. What did the sylvari say to the charr?

    I’m sorry for the death of your 3 titans and your race in the vision from Glint…. My apologies

  7. So. a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar… called beta, and the bartender says, “Took you two long enough to get here.”

  8. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?
    they both drink until they face-PLANT!

  9. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…
    “Hey you, hairy beast! You sit on my chair! Leave it or i will cut your head off!”
    The norn trinks more and more and suddenly he said: “You Sylvari are so weak, but i like you!” And the norn fall asleep!

  10. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

    Norn will bet all his money and loose because sylvari are immune to alcohol.

    Why? Because they are half humans half plants.

  11. Given how few actually read this post all the way through, I might actually have a chance to win a BETA Key for my sister =P
    Thanks for the giveaway!

  12. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?
    The sylvari responds: I’m sorry, I only drink water.

  13. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…. the asura’s immediately thrown out since he can’t even see over the counter while that crazy drunk norn thinks he can chop down the sylvari and chases him out…. all in all both (being theifs) make sure to not leave empty handed.

  14. What did the sylvari say to the charr?

    The sylvari didnt say anything… he got CHARRmed before a word came out of his mouth :)

  15. So a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar… the sylvari sits down and has a drink. The asura unfortunately couldn’t reach the bar counter….

  16. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar. The asura catches the bar tender passing and quickly says “I’ll take your strongest…” before the asura can finish the bar tender looks at the asura and says “sorry kid, I cant serve underaged patrons”, he then continues to the sylvari and asks “what would you like to drink?” and the sylvari replies, “Ill take a water”.

  17. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

    They both get too drunk to realise none of these jokes are funny.

  18. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…
    so the bartender turns to the asura.. “we do not serve minors” :]

  19. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…

    everybody in the bar: ”YEEAHH the little one brought some wood for the BBQ”

  20. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar …

    and a Charr start a drinking contest with the Sylvari. And the Sylvari sasy to the Charr that this isn’t the pussybar.

  21. What happens when a Norn challenges a Sylvari to a drinking contest?

    Norn: “Ahahahaha, It’s the Norn who go swimming with big hairy women! *Burps and almost falls over*
    Sylvari: I.. I feel something.. A slight tingle in my fingers! I think it’s affecting me..
    Norn: Ahahaha… What did I say?! He can’t hold his liquor. *Falls over*

    From Lord of the Rings. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2Mu8W0FZyY

  22. An Asura and Sylvari walk into a bar. The Asura asks the bartender “What do you have for a seasonal brew?” The bartender replies “Right now, the freshest honey mead straight from Holbroek flavored with just a touch of heather nectar.” The Sylvari looks surprised. “Heather? I wondered where she was working these days…”

  23. An Asura and a Sylvari walk into a bar. The barman says to the Asura:
    – Sorry kid…Need to be 21 to drink.
    Than to the Sylvari:
    – What’s your poison?
    – Actually it’s cyanogenic glycosidis.
    But I don’t drink…I photosynthesize….

  24. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar. The asura points to the spigots behind the bar and whispers to the sylvari: “I bet if we designed better Kranxx, we’d make a Killeen.”

  25. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar, they go and sit down next to a char and the sylvari asks the char if he wants a beer.
    The char replied “Yes……………….Please”.
    “Why the long pause?” asked the sylvari
    The char holds up his *paws* and replied “I’m a char?!”

  26. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?
    “Hmm. Tasty liquid, this whisky.From where do you get it?”-ask the sylvari.
    “We just distilled from plants” said the Norn.
    “Oh by the Pale Tree! I’m a cannibal.”

  27. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…
    The asura says: So this is where your roots come from?

    Get it? roots? :p

  28. 1. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar with the wolf of the Sylvari

    Sylvari: “So, would you like to see a trick of my wolf?”
    Asura: “Of course, let me see”
    Sylvari: “Barkeeper, I have no money, but if I show you my wolf talking, would we get some free refreshments?”
    Barkeeper: “Haha, yeah shure, let me see your wolf talking!”
    Sylvari: “Okaaay… Wolf, what is on the top of a house?!”
    Wolf: “Ruff!”
    Sylvari: “Yes of course, a roof! Got it Baarkeeper?”
    Barkeeper: “Haha, come on, he is not talking… Haha.”
    Sylvari: “Okay, one more chance.. Wolf, what do you know aber Nord? They are very…”
    Wolf: “… Ruff!”
    Slyvari: “Yeah, they are rough!”
    Barkeeper: “Come one, get out of here, this is not a trick!”

    Sylvari and Asura out of the bar, and the Asura is kidding about the Sylvari.

    Asura: “Haha, did you really thought this is a trick and would work?”
    WOLF: “Yeah, next time I will show him my trick with the cards or something like this!”

    Asura: O_O

  29. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…
    Sylvari: ‘Psst, wanna get in the dream?’
    Asura: “oh please, been there; nothing but a PALE tree.’

  30. A Sylvari and an Asura walk into a bar.
    Sylvari: “So this is what Humans do for entertainment? Swallow intoxicants until their brains start to die?”
    Asura:”Heh…what brains might those be?”

  31. So a Sylvari and an Asura walk into a bar and they have drinks and when they’re ready to pay the Asura says I’m a bit short.

  32. So an Asura and a Sylvari are stuck on a ledge overlooking a very large cliff…
    Asura: Sooo you’re a tree right?
    Sylvari: Kind of …why? *looks nervous*
    Asura: Well, could you put down roots and grow us out of here???
    Sylvari: That’s not really how it works….but I guess if we were gonna wait to see if you put down roots it would be a LONG wait.
    Asura: You callin me short plant??

  33. What happens when a Norn challenges a Sylvari to drinking contest?
    They start drinking and after 100 mugs the Sylvari says “hmm my vision is blurry” then the Norn says “Ha i knew u couldn’t hold your drink” then norn falls from the chair asleep .

    What did the Sylvari say to the Charr?
    Sylvari: They say your gods punish your people everytime The sacred flame goes out?
    Charr: Yes
    Sylvari: Then judging by your looks , you must have a real hard time keeping those flames on .

    So a Sylvari and an Asura walk into a bar and and shout : Who wants to fight? A big charr stands up and says “I DO”
    Sylvari and Asura: ok then u see that sign that says B IG D R A G O N? it spells human ..go get him :D

  34. What did the sylvari say to the charr?
    They say your people are masters of the kitchen.
    Charr: What do you mean, meat?
    Sylvari: Indeed, especially searing.

  35. So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar…
    The asura notices that the sylvari looks a bit sad and says:
    Why so blue green man?

  36. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

    The Sylvari offers to supply the… ROOT… BEER!

  37. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

    round the norn falls since the alcohol distilled sylvary their ancestral roots

  38. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

    El silvari gana abruptamente debido a su constitución…
    El Norn, enfadado, le reta a un pulso…
    El silvari se mea encima con el alcohol ingerido.

  39. What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?

    The win silvari abruptly due to its constitution …
    The Norn, angry, challenges you to a pulse …
    The silvari pees on alcohol intake.

  40. Pingback: Outros sites distribuindo keys | Guild Wars 2 Brasil

  41. “What happens when a norn challenges a sylvari to a drinking contest?”

    Sylvari simply Powerbombed him through the bartender.

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  44. Pingback: This week in Guild Wars 2 | GuildMag - Guild Wars 2 Fansite: Magazine, Podcast, Editorials and more

  45. [10:28:00 AM] michael: So, a sylvari and an asura walk into a bar and the asura says to the bartender sorry, but im alittle short!

  46. How many Asuras does it take to change a lightbulb?
    One Hundred and Three — one to design a flux-matrix-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Rata Sum using that fluxed lightbulb,one to build a golem that installs the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb’s right to not change, and fifty to hold a counter-protest.

  47. What did the sylvari say to the charr?

    Sylvari: “Damn, you’ve got much hairs!”
    Charr: “And you have got much leaves!”

  48. the norn bet 100 gold thathe will win and asks the sylvari:`what will u bet?´
    the sylvari answeres:`onehundretandtree´

  49. Pingback: Beta giveaway has concluded! « Under the Pale Tree

  50. Pingback: Free guild wars 2 beta keys, BWE | Need for Games | Best computer games, computers for games

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